I did this to myself

(a poem)

Hesitation wrapped its bony fingers around my throat,

barring the offense crawling its way to my tongue.

Doubt wove a web over my spite,

and for a moment,

those words made me believe them.

After all…

I desperately wanted to believe them.

The part of me that wanted to be trusting,

To be joyous…

I poured so much faith into it already,

There was no other choice.